Here’s a fun fact: you can actually get drunk on water. It’s called water intoxication, and it’s very dangerous. So understandably a lot of people were a little worried about Marco Rubio when the soon to be former one-term Florida senator took to Twitter late Monday night to unload a few things off his chest.
The senator took aim at the what he described as the media’s irresponsible practice of using unnamed sources to predict his future plans.
Let’s begin.
Funny to read about unnamed "people close" to me who claim to know my thinking on future plans.They just make it up. https://t.co/jiEYMugVHz
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Unnamed sources "close to" often just people who want to sound like they are in the know. And reporters desperate for content just accept it
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Flashback to another article quoting a "longtime friend" saying I "hate" Senate. Words I have NEVER said to anyone. https://t.co/VZ9J7wznsZ
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Word of advice, people often claim to know more than they really do because they enjoy status of being perceived as "in the know".
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Well, he’s not lying about that. All presidential candidates probably have a handful of staffers who enjoy the anonymous celebrity that comes with being an “unnamed source.” This probably makes up for having to clean up after rallies.
Let’s continue.
Another genius line claims that Im "a bit at sea in terms of his next step politically". Ummmm Not really. https://t.co/jiEYMugVHz
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
I have only said like 10000 times I will be a private citizen in January.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
“Like 10,000 times” dude! Apparently, the stress has made Rubio revert to his adolescent stage. It’s also clear that the number of Floridians supporting his eventual private citizenship is far more than 10,000.
As for future in politics, well it's nearly impossible for someone not in office to ever become a successful candidate for President.Right?
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Oh, Marco. Come on man. You’re just not that guy. It’s time to accept that Republican voters just aren’t into you.
Soon things start to get interesting, perhaps that his good friend Jack Daniels started kicking?
A source "close to Rubio" says he was tired after long day & has decided to sleep for a few hours before tomorrow's ZIKA debate in Senate.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
A "longtime friend" says Rubio is "betwixt and between when it comes to whether to chest or legs tomorrow at gym."
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Wow. Talk about TMI. We’ve seen you sweating Marco; we don’t need that imagery again.
According to source who knows his cousins, wife's dentist, Rubio could do cardio instead.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Ok that's enough for one night. Twitter isn't something you should just rush back into. You have to slowly increase the dosage…….
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
As funny as it was, Rubio made a very valid point. The media’s use of unnamed sources has become a real issue in journalism, especially during a presidential campaign season where every scoop no matter how shady the source can become a viral story.
At the end of the day, voters are no more informed on anything of substance than they were before reading what amounts to gossip. At the same time, news outlets have to listen to their market or go out of business; it’s a complicated issue.
What’s not complicated is Rubio’s newfound “gives no f*cks” attitude. He’s enjoying the privilege of being a failed one-term senator who has nothing but time on his hands. And that should make for plenty of fun viral rants before people stop and remember that they don’t really care about Marco Rubio.
It seems Rubio’s still a little “thirsty” these days.
Image via Giphy.
Featured image screengrab via YouTube
