Here’s some valuable words of advice to the next crop of ammosexuals with small man bits: if you plan on bringing about an armed revolution in a bird sanctuary, make sure to pack more Moutain Dew and Nutter Butters. That’s exactly what’s happening with the #Ya’llQaeda militiamen overtaking a National Wildlife center in Oregon, now in day three of its standoff with the federal government over land usage.
In case you’re wondering what happens when Ralph Wiggum and his band of disgruntled underachieving ammosexuals take over a remote federal building on a wildlife reserve in Oregon, it seems a Patrick Henry wet dream supersedes basic sustenance. Despite the fact that a few of the domestic terrorists have carried out similar actions over land use before, they appear not to have planned their latest stand-off in the snowy and isolated region of Oregon very well. Hilariously enough, it seems one of their brave fighters - ensnared in constitutional thought - put out a call on Facebook for “supplies and snacks” before arriving at the national wildlife center.
How will they ever achieve YeeHawd and meet 72 armed Virginians?
Wait-I thought these guys spend their days squandering their government handouts (none of them have real jobs) on prepper sh*t, and yet not a single member of #Ya’llQuaeda packed a single nutter butter or cheese puff?? May Alex Jones have mercy on your souls.
Thankfully, social media has heard their calls and responded with scathing sarcasm.
Reports claim that Feds are monitoring the situation but keeping their distance, but nobody is expecting a Waco-like turn of events. In short, this has got to be the derpiest bunch of anti-government derps yet.
Featured image via screen capture
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and ImpressionsGuy.com
