There might be more hypocrisy in Texas right now than rain, although surely its residents will claim that the witch doctor in the Oval Office caused the rain. See–there’s truly an amazingly wonderful thing about being a teabagger: you get to hate gov-mint while living off of it, because you’re white and own guns and crap. Actually, it’s more make-your-eyes-bleed-maddening than amazing and it needs to stop (it won’t).
In case you’re wondering what freedom-lovin’ red state sucks off the t*t of government like a crying newborn infant the most, it’s Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas-even the hypocrisy.
Hating the government (or more specifically, the Maoist witch doctor in the oval office) is as Texan as accidentally shooting one’s self. Texas seems to never have been able to get over the fact that it was once a sovereign state, and it doesn’t take too kindly to the gov-mint doing perfectly legal military exercises within its borders. (See Jade Helm.) But while some fat white guy in a gigantic cowboy hat would like you to think Texas wears rugged individualism on its sleeve, it actually wears a big old government assistance tattoo.
Okay, so maybe Texas used to be a bastion of rugged individualism-or at least it used to pay more in federal taxes than it received in federal spending. For example, DallasNews points out that Texas used to receive “90 cent or less for every dollar its residents and businesses sent to Washington.” However, it’s now a big fat taker that gobbles up more federal dollars than Rush Limbaugh gobbles up codeine. In fact, the DallasNews article points out that, in six of the past eight years, including the entire tenure of President Barack Obama, Texans got more out of the federal Treasury than they put in.
The federal government spent about $9,000 per Texan in 2010. The state spent $2,200 — one of the lowest outlays in the country, according to the National Association of State Budget Officers.
If not for federal money, there just wouldn’t be much provided at all in some public services, and it’s pretty low to begin with, said Eva De Luna Castro, a budget analyst for the Center for Public Policy Priorities in Austin, which advocates for poor and middle-income Texans. We’re at the mercy of whatever happens in D.C. (DallasNews)
So much for ‘don’t tread on me,’ huh? The idea that Texas has benefited the most during the Obama years, and continues to do so in the wake of massive flooding, should hopefully kill the “do as I say, not as I do” teabagged hypocrisy once and for all. But with the 2016 insane clown posse getting bigger and wider (and dumber) by the day, there’s very little chance of that ever happening.
Featured image via Daily Kos
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook
