What do you do when you’re arrested and charged with stalking and first degree sexual abuse? Why, you punch yourself in the face repeatedly in an attempt to pin it on cops and get a lighter sentence of course.
That was the plan rocket doctor and alleged rapist Aleksander Robin Tomaszewski, 33, came up with when he was booked in Oregon on some pretty serious charges.
His plan may have worked, too, if this were 1956 and you weren’t on camera from the moment you made contact with police until the moment you walked out the door.
The video of Tomaszewski shows him punching himself at least 40 times, leaving his face battered and bruised, but to no avail. When he was told the whole thing was caught on camera, he admitted to using the tactic to try to get released.
According to Lane County records, Tomaszewski was sentenced to time served for stalking and the sexual abuse charges were dismissed. For attacking his own face he was charged with coercion and filing a false report.
For his efforts he received $600 in fines, 20 days in jail and three years probation.
Rumors are circulating that he will be given an honorary doctorate in stupidity from the same college Rand Paul pretended to attend.
H/T: The Register Guard | Image: Screen Capture From ‘Fight Club’