Man Falls In Love With Volkswagon Beetle Named Vanilla
This isn’t your usual man meets car, man falls in love, man and car live happily ever after story. No. Edward Smith, 63, has driven around the block a few times before finding love, but he’s claims to be truly in love — with a Volkswagon Beetle named Vanilla.
Smith is a mechaphile, or a person who is sexually attracted to machinery, and has been since the age of 14 when he felt compelled to touch and caress his neighbor’s Volkswagon Beetle, he admitted on TV’s This Morning. This really revved his engine, and ever since that night, he became the neighborhood oil checker. He then expanded his tastes to airplanes and helicopters. He keeps models of all three modes of transportation.
You can chortle away, but there’s a good chance Smith has gotten more action than the most virile of us, claiming to have around 700 notches on his belt, most of his love-making done in car lots and showrooms. He admits his behavior was risky, but he was never caught wax-handed.
At this point you’re probably dying to know how exactly one “rides” a car this way, Smith says:
It has to do with the body itself. I’m not really attracted to any sort of, may I say, penetration. It is hugging and holding the shape of the car close to me and actually talking to it a little bit. And then of course, the rest is just physical satisfaction – masturbation is, I guess, the word. It is done with the car, by the car – next to it.
However, this story is not all about the sex; Smith feels real love for his Vanilla and has since 1982, though they are in an open relationship because he still sees other vehicles, such as a hot red Ford Ranger, named Ginger.
Apparently, Vanilla isn’t the jealous type. Smith explained this, but then stressed to This Morning hosts that he understands that automobiles and aircraft are not sentient beings. Though he does describe feeling a connection:
I say to myself, ‘Edward, you know in your heart and soul that these are cars.’ But when I hold them in my arms, I feel an energy which comes from each one of them and beyond that, there is a very deep love and I wouldn’t want anything to separate us.
Let us hope Smith and Vanilla are very happy together and may they never break, er, up? Or is it down?
Watch a clip from This Morning: