Glenn Beck is a fan of Ted Cruz, and he’s been stumping for Cruz in South Carolina. He’s been so busy campaigning for Cruz that he hasn’t had a chance to keep up with his radio schedule, but he did take the chance on Tuesday to call in and talk about the big news this week so far — the death of Justice Antonin Scalia.
And since this is Glenn Beck, you pretty much know what you can expect: God allowed Scalia to die because it would help Ted Cruz win the election.
This is news to me. Given aim and temperament people like Beck regularly ascribe to God, I thought it was because some poor bastard in Norjinkhairkhan, Khovnd province pissed him off.
“I just woke the American people up”
While discussing the passing of Scalia, Beck’s co-host Pat Gray couldn’t quite grok why God would let Scalia die before the election was over. Now, I have a working theory that says God is a Democrat and he was afraid that Cruz might win, so he wanted to give this country a decent chance to survive a potential Cruz presidency by allowing Obama to appoint a Supreme Court Justice.
Of course, I don’t actually believe that. One, it’s tasteless since it’s turning a man’s death into a vehicle to gain cheap political points. But, more to the point, I don’t have the almighty on speed dial like Glenn Beck does, and he quickly called in to remind his audience that he has insights into the mind of God that few of us lowly mortals can even dream of possessing.
Beck believes that Scalia’s death will motivate Americans to elect Cruz. How so? Uh, well, we’re working on that, but he does a damn fine impersonation of God:
I just woke the American people up. I took them out of the game show moment and woke enough of them up to say, ‘look at how close your liberty is to being lost. You now have lost your liberty. You replace one guy and you now have 5-4 decisions in the other direction. Just with this one guy, you’ve lost your liberty so you’d better elect somebody that is going to be somebody on [the court] because for the next 30 years, if you don’t, the Constitution as you know it [is gone].
He continued, warning, “The Constitution is hanging by a thread” and, “that thread has just been cut and the only way that we survive now is if we have a true constitutionalist.”
Beck says that and all I hear is, “Behold your gods, O America, who brought you up from the land of Great Britain!” So God forbid we lose that Golden Constitution. Some crank named Moses already smashed the calf.
Watch the video below:[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igmkooD5Phg&w=640&h=360]
Feature image via Flickr