Ammon Bundy’s Newest Complaints Will Make You Keel Over From Laughter (AUDIO)


Ammon Bundy is really in over his head, and it shows. He wants to go home now because he miscalculated and being in jail sucks.

According to the Y’all Qaeda leader’s lawyer, Mike Arnold, the food sucks in jail — it is bland and unpalatable! Oh, and according to documents filed in court Monday, Bundy had never expected his armed occupation of the Malheur Refuge to result in criminal charges:

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He had expected the government to issue an eviction or ejection claim instead of arresting and indicting the occupiers on federal charges in criminal court.

But as he now sits in a Multnomah County jail facing conspiracy and weapons allegations, he’s asking the court to dismiss the indictments, arguing that the federal government lacks jurisdiction over the land that includes the wildlife sanctuary in eastern Oregon’s Harney County.

Sadly, this is a direct result of his religious cult’s, a sect of radical anti-government Mormons, refusal to accept reality. You don’t get to run around with guns playing white trash militia, destroy a wildlife refuge, and get someone killed because you don’t like laws without consequences. You get charged, you go to jail, and in some cases, you stay there.

However, the documents filed show they still just don’t “get” that their refusal to “believe in” the law doesn’t change one damn thing, it still exists.

RELATED: LEGAL LAUGHINGSTOCK AMMON BUNDY’S DEFENSE LITERALLY IGNORES ‘UNMISTAKABLE LEGAL REALITY’

Lawyers Lissa Casey and Mike Arnold wrote in the motion:

Defendant Ammon Bundy organized his fellow citizens in protest of the expansive and unsupported interpretation of the Constitution that purports to allow the federal government to own and control more territory, and exercise jurisdiction over more land in the Western States, than the States themselves

These papers follow on the heels of the bungler’s supporters, including Ammon’s wife Lisa Sundloff Bundy and his attorney, claiming the pair was wasting away from neglect and lack of snacks in jail. Sundloff Bundy actually said her husband and his brother appeared “skinny and frail,” despite jail records showing that they have gained 10 and 20 lbs, they were not “being properly fed.”

Ammon Bundy

Ammon Bundy Courtesy of the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office

To be fair, the jail relies on the inmates self-report of weight, but 20 lbs gained? In jail, no less, which is supposed to be uncomfortable — it’s a deterrent, not a privilege, duh.

He intended to be bad, but is totally upset because he decided to bring a gun to a legal fight and is now to be held accountable for his actions and is going without his wife’s cooking. *Cue the tiny violins*

RELATED: TOO SOON? 32 BUNDY MILITIA MEMES YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS

To compound this imaginary injury and fictional insult, Arnold has said that being in the nasty jail is stopping his clients from having adequate access to discovery evidence or the jail’s law library. What is clear is that there is no law being broken and this attorney seems to know it. They have filed motions over and over again to try to get out of dealing with the consequences of their actions, are we now to believe that they wouldn’t have already filed a motion dealing with this “heinous treachery?”

Yeah, I think not too.

Listen:

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Featured image via Getty Images/Justin Sullivan

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