It gives me ulcers to say it, but a gun massacre in America is no longer a gun massacre but rather a Tuesday. Like with all these sickening but seemingly quotidian gun tragedies, each side goes to its respective corner and gripes. The latest shooting at
The latest shooting at an LGBT-friendly nightclub in Orlando marks the highest body count to date. So once again, sane and rational Americans are forced to hopelessly clench their fists, as all meaningful debate–and legislative action–gets drowned out by checks from the NRA to their Republican puppets.
To illustrate how ammosexuals control the gun debate, here are 5 common items arguably harder to buy than a gun:
- Cold medicine
For those of us who have ever suffered a bad sinus infection, we all know the difficulties in purchasing cold medicine (thanks Breaking Bad). To purchase seemingly innocuous cold medications such as Sudafed, consumers must now show ID and have the purchase logged in a database. It’s all because the active ingredient, pseudoephedrine, is the same substance used by chemists to cook up the illegal drug methamphetamine.
2. Wireless Contract
If you’re looking to purchase a cell phone with a two-year contract, you’ll often face a credit check — something that’s not required to buy a gun. Not just that, but consumers can often negotiate a better deal for guns when paying cash and purchasing at a local store.
Puppies! Even Hitler loved them! But adopting them is not something to be taken lightly. Because of scumbags like Michael Vick, potential puppy adopters have to jump through many hoops. For example, all prospective adopters must be 21, bring two forms of identification — a government-issued ID and a proof of address — but, unlike gun buyers, may be asked to provide personal references. In fact, to ensure that the pet isn’t going to a dysfunctional one, some pet organizations have one of their team members perform a home visit before handing over the pet. Can you even imagine the right-wing rage that would ensue if this were applied to guns? Federal law only requires licensed dealers to conduct checks and most states do not require background checks for firearms purchased at gun shows from private individuals.
4. Fishing license
Unless you want to use an AR-15 on your next fishing trip, trying to get a license isn’t as simple as you might think. Apparently taking out a club full of people with a semi-automatic weapon of death is way easier than getting a fishing rod. Federal law requires U.S. citizens to provide their Social Security numbers before buying recreational fishing licenses. (The same, incidentally, is required for getting a credit card.) Licensed gun dealers must ask for a government-issued identification like a driver’s license, however, a Social Security number is not needed to buy a gun in most states. Providing one is listed as “optional” in most states.
Welcome to 21st century ‘Murica; where it’s easier to fulfill your radical religious and/or homicidal tendencies than it is to cure your cold.
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