The very thought of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, a man with all the charm and temperament of Bluto, being commander-in-chief was luckily destroyed. His pathetic and non-existent presidential run (or waddle) proved that America preferred an even bigger, louder and more unstable narcissistic a-hole in Donald Trump. But since he can never actually govern and earn his six-figure salary as governor of New Jersey, the screaming bag of uncooked bacon has no other choice but to kiss up to Trump in hopes that his obsequious support gets him an unelectable cabinet level position.
As it turns out, he’s basically Trump’s errand boy and well on his way to becoming Secretary of Picking Up Fast Food.
But it looks like these colossally hated and ill-informed narcissists have more in common than just ego and bluster; they both have absolutely no credible foreign policy and geography knowledge whatsoever.
Donald trump already proved that he makes George Bush look like a foreign policy expert and cartographer when, in order to get his breathtakingly stupid supporters (they can’t even locate Canada on a map) in a jingoistic “just nuke them” frenzy, he claimed that the American-born Orlando shooter was somehow born not in Afghanistan, but “Afghan.” All the money in the world and he can’t afford a map. Well, his chubby BFF one-upped him.
While the facts are still pouring in, with most indicating that the shooter was in no way taking orders from ISIS, but was a self-loathing homosexual (Republicans should love him), rattle-sabering neocons are desperately trying to make this a “Us v Them” clash of civilizations. Case in point Chris Christie believes the American military should “fight back” somewhere overseas in response to a Queens-born American citizen shooting up a gay nightclub in Orlando last Sunday. He’s not sure where, but says “somewhere?” Though every indication is that Mateen was the sole shooter and not taking any direct orders from al-Qaeda or ISIS (any lunatic could call 911 and make that claim), Christie believes the shooting was “all about” the fact that “radical Islamic terrorists are out to kill us.”
If this country doesn’t get wise to that fact and our leaders don’t get wise to that fact… these people hate us because of who we are, and they’re going to try and kill us, and that’s what this is all about,” the New Jersey governor said during an appearance on WFAN radio. It’s unacceptable to allow this kind of stuff in our country and for us not to fight back, and we need to fight back, and that’s all these people understand.
STFU, Christie! Go do what you do best, which is petty political payback and pilfering taxpayer money for you and your cronies. Leave foreign policy to the thinkers.
Featured image via screen capture from YouTube