Jesus f*cking Christ our President* is a moron. Not satisfied with simply wasting billions of taxpayer dollars on a border wall, The Donald wants it to be see-through too — not to preserve the view of scenery but because he’s afraid people might be killed by gigantic sacks of drugs that are totally going to be thrown over it on a regular basis (thus negating his argument that the wall will somehow curb drug trafficking).
“As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them–they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of the stuff? It’s over,” the President said aboard Air Force One Wednesday according to the official White House transcript. “As cray as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.”
Trump says border wall with Mexico should be transparent so that people aren’t killed when drug couriers throw 60-lbs. bags over it. pic.twitter.com/0GXJuHjPxs
— Gregory Korte (@gregorykorte) July 13, 2017
It’s unclear if Trump actually said “cray” or if the White House stenographer made a typo, but the idea that we will be so beleaguered by so many flying 60-pound sacks of drugs that the border wall needs to be “transparent” is pretty “cray.”
Now, Trump could have argued that there are a number of reasons for “transparency” — to see those dirty brownish people he hates coming, for instance. But he chose the dumb one that involves throwing a 60-pound bag of heroin over a 20-foot fence.
Naturally, Americans find this hilarious:
The bad hombres are very strong.
— Juha (@juhasaarinen) July 14, 2017
I imagined just this with “Acme” printed on the side.
— TJ Shannon (@tjshannon13) July 14, 2017
— Paul Vahamaa (@pvahamaa) July 14, 2017
“a steel wall with openings” so that you can “see through that wall”…he knows he’s describing a fence, right?
— Tinz (@TinzRules) July 13, 2017
Likelihood that Trump heard someone say “We need transparency on the building of the Wall” and didn’t understand?
— Patrick (@PatrickCragg) July 13, 2017
Crushed by Giant Bag of Dope is pretty high on most people’s Preferred Ways To Die list, I’ve heard.
— Just Dessert (@Love_CrimeDrama) July 13, 2017
Crushed by Giant Bag of Dope was, in my opinion, Giant Bag of Dope’s best album.
— David J Britton (@Tyburn_Cross) July 13, 2017
I want to meet the dealer that can toss a 60 lb bag over the wall or, do they use catapults?
— nicefellow31 (@nicefellow31) July 13, 2017
They prefer trebuchets, I’m told.
— Carly (@whatstudentloan) July 13, 2017
The beauty of this, though, is if the bag misses your head… Hey! Free heroin!
— Christopher Keelty (@keeltyc) July 13, 2017
— Matthew R. Kerns (@mattkerns) July 13, 2017
So, these drug smugglers, they can toss 60 pound bags of coke over 20 foot walls, but can’t climb a mountain?
— High Quality Nephew (@JohnNephew) July 13, 2017
“This piece of fence would be supes far away. You’d have to be totes cray to cross there. So you fo sho don’t need that.” – def on fleek
— Henkepotamus (@Henke2020) July 13, 2017
You laugh but this is a serious problem. pic.twitter.com/1jGkVDGmt6
— Erase Rewind (@EraseRewind1) July 13, 2017
If there are people throwing 60 lbs sacks of stuff over high walls we should get them on our team.
— Rich (@Argonzo) July 13, 2017
So: you happen to stand next to a giant 900 mi. wall when BAM! You’re hit with a 60 lb. bag of drugs tossed over this huge wall to no one??
— Spooky Comet (@spookycomet) July 13, 2017
one thing is right, this shit is cray
— Ella’s Girl (@ellasgirl7) July 13, 2017
This can’t possibly be real because . . . never mind. I’m sorry, I forgot who we were referring to.
— ❄Kit Yona (@TheKitastrophe) July 13, 2017
Wow. Vicious rivers and “cray” 60-lb falling bags of heroin. Why would people stand next to the wall? Will there be a Starbucks?
— Tom Brouns (@TAZMPictures) July 14, 2017
Ask him to point out the “violent and vicious” rivers on a map. WTF is he talking about?
— John Daws (@grajillas) July 13, 2017
Who the F*ck is throwing 60lb sacks of drugs over the wall? Cause pretty sure they make some $$$ in pro sports!
— R Goldman (@sttrzangel) July 14, 2017
Where would Trump get the idea to tell Americans that criminals across the border are killing people with giant sacks of drugs? North Korean propaganda of course — or what seems like North Korean propaganda until you realize it’s a parody account:
Six innocent children killed by south Korean criminals hurling huge sacks of illegal drugs over inter-Korean demilitarized zone wall. pic.twitter.com/bfnNlBIs4e
— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) July 13, 2017
If you’re thinking this is disgraceful even for Trump, you probably should be aware that we have not yet seen the depths to which he is willing to sink in his quest for power.
We need to face the fact that our “President” is completely “cray” and let the GOP know they need to do their jobs and remove him from office now.
featured image via Getty Images/screengrab