Top 10 Ways To Anger Any Republican When They Complain About Socialism.


Everywhere you go, Republicans love talking badly about socialism. Socialism killed both Jesus and the dinosaurs at the same time. Socialism is evil, European, and possibly can turn you gay.

However, the thing that every Republican ignores is that their entire existence depends on it. Do them a favor, and share this with them today, for freedom’s sake.

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Presenting The Top 10 Ways To Anger Any Republican When They Complain About “Socialism”:

1. War

The Pentagon – every invasion that came from it, drones, bullets, guns, bombs, ships, planes, you name it – is all paid for with tax money. Literally every penny of it is tied to socialism, yet inexplicably war is the favorite past time of every Republican.

2. Sports

Yes, sports. Big sports. The bigger the better, and they all need stadiums in which to play. Where do these stadiums come from? They are mostly, if not completely, funded by taxpayer money. Yes, that’s right. Local and sometimes state taxes go to fund sports stadium construction because they are “great job creators,” if you consider being paid minimum wage to hawk 11 dollar cups of warm beer a great job. Remember this one when some self-taught economist says the government cannot create jobs.

3. Social Security

A substantial amount of Republicans are on Social Security, despite the fact it is evil Socialism. Even the name “Social” Security, is a dead giveaway. It is funded completely through taxes and pays out a public benefit. If you ask them why they choose to not burn their checks every month, they will tell you it is because they happen to personally benefit from it. The excuse of “I paid into it” is not valid if they try to use it. They also paid into subsidies for Big Oil, but they do not get free gas.

4. Medicare

A lot of Republicans literally cannot live without it. Medicare is exactly what every other modestly advanced or better nation on the planet has (except they have it for all citizens), but is too socialistic for America. Yet, if you went to take it from them they would probably call it tyranny and/or death panels.

5. The entire Republican Party

Quite literally every single elected Republican from the most local and lowly public servant, through state and federal offices, to the presidency itself is funded completely by socialist tax dollars. How would a Republican voter live with themselves without their Republican legislators? They vote for the most inept ones just to make sure nothing gets done. That way, they can feel smug about saying government useless.

6. Corporate bailouts and subsidies

Republicans love the guys who give tax money, or even deficit spending, to corporate billionaires. Your average Republican is not a corporate billionaire, so it is a bit confusing. However, they are very pro-billionaire welfare. Always make sure to remember that the single mom with two kids who needs 100 bucks extra per month for food is just a whore and deserves nothing while a person with 50 billion dollars in the bank needs an extra 2 million dollars in tax giveaways per year.

7. State and federal roads and bridges

Imagine if there were no overpasses for people to hang anti-Obama signs from or no streets on which to have Confederate flag marches; people would complain it was restricting their freedom of speech. You don’t have freedom of speech on private roads, though, and they never remember this. Socialism just saved the Republicans’ first amendment rights.

8. Practically all snow removal

With very few exceptions on very local levels, all road-based snow removal is socialistic. Taxpayer funding covers it every time and every Republican demands that their road is plowed first. In this case it benefits them personally, so we can say that “selfish socialism” is very pro-American.

9. Border protection

You know how it is by now. When you say “border protection” within 10 yards of any Republican they immediately shout and grab the nearest thing that looks like a gun, then complain how the immigrants are stealing jobs. “We have to secure the border!” they cry. As usual, where does the money come from? You guessed it. socialist taxes.

10. The Internet

Absolutely colossal amounts of Republican bellyaching and bitching about Socialism occur online. Without the government, the internet would not exist. DARPA, a socialistically funded agency, along with other governmental entities, invented the internet. Next time you get a colorful email full of bad grammar from your Tea Party relative, remind them that email is fueled by socialism and request they cancel their internet service.

You have the power to end this. Share this article with your favorite Republican today, and save them from themselves.


Featured Image: Flickr

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