THANKS, SATAN: Oklahoma Supreme Court Rules Ten Commandments Monument Must Go! (SCREENSHOTS)


Last year, Satan told a man to drive his car into the Ten Commandments monument at the Oklahoma State Capitol, then urinate on it. Sure, the man was completely off his rocker, but many groups –including Satanists — have been fighting the monument’s presence for quite a while.

The Ten Commandments monument was replaced early this year, but now the Oklahoma Supreme Court says that it’s got to go — permanently. In a 7-2 vote, the Court concluded that the monument’s presence is prohibited under Article 2, Section 5 of the Oklahoma constitution.

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Brady Henderson with the American Civil Liberties Union released a statement in response to the court’s decision, saying:

Today’s ruling is an important victory for all Oklahomans, regardless of their religion or beliefs. It reminds our state government that our religious choices are our own, and it is not the state’s job to tell us which beliefs are right or wrong.

Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt is displeased, to say the least, with the decision. He released the following statement:

Quite simply, the Oklahoma Supreme Court got it wrong. The court completely ignored the profound historical impact of the Ten Commandments on the foundation of Western law. Furthermore, the court’s incorrect interpretation of Article 2, Section 5 contradicts previous rulings of the court. In response, my office will file a petition with the court for a rehearing in light of the broader implications of this ruling on other areas of state law…”

Pruitt promised that “we are requesting a stay of the enforcement of the court’s order until the court can petition for rehearing.” In true conservative fashion, he added:

“Finally, if Article 2, Section 5 is going to be construed in such a manner by the court, it will be necessary to repeal it.”

Article 2, Section 5 of the state Constitution is quite clear:

No public money or property shall ever be appropriated, applied, donated, or used, directly or indirectly, for the use, benefit, or support of any sect, church, denomination, or system of religion, or for the use, benefit, or support of any priest, preacher, minister, or other religious teacher or dignitary, or sectarian institution as such.

Clearly, a Ten Commandments monument promoting the Christian religion on state grounds is a direct violation of that section of the state Constitution. Therefore, conservatives will surely be waging war with the goal of eradicating the parts of the state Constitution that they do not like.

Unfortunately, this means that we will likely not be seeing the totally metal Baphomet statue for which the Satanic Church has been fighting — though their efforts likely factored into the decision.

“If, at the end of the day, the Ten Commandments monument is allowed to remain on the Capitol grounds with its overtly Christian message, then the Satanic Temple’s proposal can’t be rejected because it is of a different religious viewpoint,” a representative of the Oklahoma ACLU said in May, 2014.

In any case, rationality won, while conservatives are continuing to have their worst couple weeks ever. Fox News’ audience is enveloped by such a rage-haze that they are actually managing levels of stupidity never thought possible — even as far as those on the Right are concerned:

6-30-2015 2-33-02 PM 6-30-2015 3-10-25 PM 6-30-2015 3-09-47 PM 6-30-2015 3-02-13 PM 6-30-2015 3-01-56 PM 6-30-2015 3-00-20 PM 6-30-2015 2-59-56 PM 6-30-2015 2-56-37 PM 6-30-2015 2-55-18 PM 6-30-2015 2-53-24 PM 6-30-2015 2-53-03 PM 6-30-2015 2-52-05 PM 6-30-2015 2-51-30 PM 6-30-2015 2-50-49 PM 6-30-2015 2-50-16 PM 6-30-2015 2-49-37 PM 6-30-2015 2-48-53 PM 6-30-2015 2-46-53 PM 6-30-2015 2-46-22 PM 6-30-2015 2-43-11 PM 6-30-2015 2-41-09 PM 6-30-2015 2-40-01 PM 6-30-2015 2-38-40 PM 6-30-2015 2-36-18 PM 6-30-2015 2-35-24 PM 6-30-2015 2-34-22 PM 6-30-2015 2-34-00 PM 6-30-2015 2-33-27 PM

Gay marriage is legal nationwide. Obamacare is upheld. Anti-discrimination policies regarding housing are upheld. FINALLY, we’re taking steps toward truly enforcing separation of church and state.

It’s a great time to be an American — unless you’re a conservative.

Featured image via Comedy Central/KOCO

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