The interwebs have been flooded with outrage this week about cups. No, seriously, Christians were pissed off about red Starbucks cups, because…..WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!! But, now after much drama and lots of bullsh*t hashtags on social media, Starbucks has responded to their haters — and it was perfect.
First of all, as you are probably aware, the outrage first started when former pastor and well-known bigot, Joshua Feuerstein, made a video ranting about the new red holiday cups. He said:
I think in the age of political correctness we’ve become so open minded our brains have literally fallen out of our head. Do you realize that Starbucks wanted to take Christ and Christmas off of their brand new cups? That’s why they’re just plain red.
Last year the cups featured “Christmas” trees and snowflakes, but they didn’t say “Merry Christmas” anywhere on them. Actually, in all of the years that I have been drinking Starbucks — I drink so much Starbucks I could probably pay an employee’s salary all year — the cups have never mentioned Christmas on them. They are usually just cute cups with snow on them or something related to snow. So, Feuerstein’s gripe is really and truly asinine.
Noting the outrage over their cups, a Starbucks representative issued a statement explaining that the company created the red cups with their iconic green logo to “create a culture of inclusion”:
In response to the video, our core values as a company is to create a culture of belonging, inclusion and diversity. Each year during the holidays we aim to bring our customers an experience that inspires the spirit of the season and we will continue to embrace and welcome customers from all backgrounds and religions in our stores around the world.
It’s stupid that the company even had to spell that out. First of all, snow and pine trees are hardly representative of Christ. Last time I looked, Jesus wasn’t born in upstate New York, in a manger surrounded by snow. I live in Florida, the state where we decorate palm trees. Did I bitch, moan and complain because the cups didn’t have palm trees and sunshine on them? NO! Because I’m not an idiot.
Related: Forget About Starbucks, There Is A REAL ‘War On Christmas’ And We Have Bush To Thank For It
Maybe the people who are so outraged over a damn red cup should go out and volunteer at a homeless shelter. Or adopt a family to send gifts to this year. Maybe they can go to a neighborhood of low-income families and pay someone’s electric bill or anything else that would actually represent what Jesus was about.
Starbucks had the perfect response, but we don’t expect the fake Christians to understand it; they have no idea what it means to be “inclusive.”