Sarah Palin. Oh, how we love the half-term Alaskan quitter. We love her because we know that when she resurfaces with her stupidity every so often it is just going to give us oodles and oodles of entertainment — and today is no different.
On Sunday, Palin posted a long rant on Facebook about Hillary Clinton’s health complete with silly links and all sorts of conspiracy theories:
Leave Hillary Alone, Bullies
Aww, c’mon guys, give her a break. Anyone can be out of commission…. for weeks on end… whilst in the heat of battle for the highest office in the land. No press conferences for nearly a year? No scheduled campaign events for days upon days? No statements, no answers, no accountability, no problem. Layin’ low to run out the clock before November, but you’re SEXIST for noticing it.
And you’re MISOGYNIST for questioning a female’s fitness.
According to Palin’s tortured logic, Clinton must be at home on bed rest because she hasn’t held any press conferences this year. Palin seems to think that a presidential candidate is supposed to call press conferences every couple of days in order to prove that they are physically fit — obviously, that TOTALLY proves her health is bad.
Anyway, after ranting about Clinton’s health, Palin somehow turned the subject around to herself and a recent injury she obtained when she smashed her face into rocks:
Leave Hillary alone! All that email-evidenced yoga, and wedding planning, and cookie-baking-grandma-duty wears you out. Believe you me.
Heck, even those of us claiming to be fit as a (seasoned?) fiddle, hit bumps in the wellness road. Even I. Especially I. (Remember Piper’s middle name is “Grace”; mine isn’t.)
Rock-running recently, I tripped over my own two feet and crashed & burned face-first. I recovered with the doc’s SuperGlue, and now any man who asks “what happened?” I’ll refer to as just a mean ol’ SEXIST bully.
If you are confused about what Palin’s injury has to do with Hillary Clinton let me Palinsplain for you: While Hillary Clinton was “resting” because she is so “sickly,” Sarah was out showing the world that she is super fit and stuff. While showing the world how super healthy and not sick she was she tripped and hurt herself. (Maybe she was drunk? Many people are saying it!) So, because she was out stumbling around on rocks to prove herself to the whole 5 people who pay attention to her, it is clearly Hillary Clinton’s fault.
Welp, hopefully, Sarah gets some exceptional medical care to help with her obvious balance issues. That could, after all, be a sign of brain damage or something. I know this because the Medical School of Google said so. Honest!
Featured image via Facebook