Rick Perry Is Mocked Over Nukes By Secretary Whose Job He Thought He Was Getting


Donald Trump’s Secretary of Energy Rick Perry doesn’t get a lot of respect. That’s a good thing — he’s kind of a dumbass. And by “kind of,” I mean of course that he’s the dumbest guy to come out of Texas since his gubernatorial predecessor, George W. Bush.

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But there’s obviously something about Perry’s aw-shucks style that got him elected three times as governor of Texas. The problem is, nobody but Texans know what it is. That’s why his two runs at the Republican nomination for president have been so laughably short. But those efforts did earn him something in the end: An appointment to an office he said he wanted to abolish, by the guy that beat him by publicly commenting on how dumb he is.

Trump’s magnanimous gesture in handing Perry the Department of Energy came with risks: What if Ricky used it all up trying to tie his cowboy boots one Sunday morning on his way to church? That fear, of course, is unfounded, because Rick Perry totally thought the DoE meant he was in charge of our oil. You can see why his brain might go there. He’s from Texas, so he may have imagined himself the perfect selection as Oilman-in-Chief. Maybe he was confused by terrifying phrases like “foreign energy” or “energy independence,” which do indeed mean oil and gas.

The guy in charge of those is actually Ryan Zinke, head of the Department of the Interior. Mr. Zinke was interviewed recently by the magazine GQ, and he had, um, “nice” things to say about ol’ Rick:

Secretary Perry is a wonderful guy. I think he thought his department was more about energy than … science. Mostly, it’s science and, of course, they also have responsibility of our nuclear arsenal.

Oops! Rick Perry is in charge of our nukes?!? Well, at least Zinke isn’t too worried about it:

Interior is the one that produces energy. We laugh a lot about it.

It’s a good thing somebody’s laughing, right?


Featured image via Alex Wong/Getty Images

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