Barring a coup during his confirmation hearing, former Texas Governor and failed Dancing With The Stars contestant Rick Perry will head up the Department of Energy – the agency responsible for, among other important things, controlling America’s nuclear arsenal. He is, without a doubt, one of the least qualified people in the country to do it.
For starters, Rick Perry is the guy who famously forgot that the Department of Energy existed during a Republican primary debate in 2011. Embarrassing enough for anybody, but it was even more awkward because Perry was arguing that the department should be eliminated. Oops.
Now, the department he once struggled to remember existed long enough to kill it will be under his control. Yikes.
But it’s not just Perry’s memory that is mush, he has never been mistaken for a deep thinker either. In college at Texas A&M, the future Texas Governor distinguished himself with his truly horrendous grades, particularly in science courses.
The Daily Beast summarized Perry’s collegiate achievements tersely:
Perry took four chemistry courses and got two Cs, a D and an F. He got a C in physics. And a D in something called “Meats.”
Meats? I couldn’t believe it either, but it checks out. Perry barely passed Meats, and failed chemistry outright.
(In fairness, he got a “B” in Marketing and Grading of Livestock Meat a year later, so maybe he was a slow learner?)
By comparison, the current head of the Department of Energy got a PhD in theoretical physics from Stanford and was the head of the physics department at MIT when President Clinton selected him to help run the agency. Obama would eventually re-hire him to head the whole thing in 2013. He also got a seat at the table when the White House negotiated the Iran nuclear deal because he, well, actually knew a thing or two about nuclear physics and could help Obama make sense of Iran’s nuclear program. In other words, as head of his department, he was an asset to the White House.
Coincidentally, at the time the negotiation, Perry was competing (and losing) on Dancing With The Stars.
That’s what he brings to the table.
Oh and if Trump ever needs someone to give him tips on marketing and grading livestock meat, Perry is okay at that too.
UPDATE: An intrepid reporter found the syllabus for “Meats.”
This class sounds amazing. A real look at how the sausage is made pic.twitter.com/HVBHWnxka1
— Alex Fitzpatrick (@AlexJamesFitz) December 14, 2016
Featured image via YouTube