Mitch McConnell Tells Obama To ‘Move To The Center’ For GOP Compromise, Talks Curtains


Halloween may be all about thrills and chills, but get ready for a good laugh.

According to Senate Minority Leader (and potential majority leader) Mitch McConnell, Republicans are willing to compromise and “work with President Obama,” so long as he is ready to “move to the center” and meet them halfway. That’s what he told CBS News, anyway.

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Good one, right?

For a President who ran on the slogan, “Change,” one thing a vast majority of the country could actually agree on, whether conservative or liberal, is that we have seen anything but change. Where they begin to bicker and differ is why we haven’t seen change, but it’s safe to say that most everyone thought President Obama would come into office change-belt a-blazing, throwing his weight around W. Bush style, but for liberal policies. Sadly, that’s been far from the case. Obama’s been working earnestly to compromise with Republicans and corporate interests from the start, leaving many on the Left highly disappointed in his presidency. Yet the Right’s still howled and stomped its feet every step of the way, blocking bill after bill, complaining of anything and everything they can scrape up, even shutting down the government and costing the taxpayers an ugly sum in their tirade to obstruct progress. Nope, if they couldn’t have it their way, no one would have a damn thing, and they shut down the government to do it.

Yet, McConnell has the gall to tell CBS News correspondent Nancy Cordes, regarding his priorities for the next two years, speaking as if he has already won the election:

The main goal is to see whether we can make progress for the country, but obviously the president is the only person who can sign something into law. So whether we can make much progress the next few years depends on him. I’d like to see him move to the middle.

The middle? The middle! Obama’s worn an ass-groove in the middle his entire presidency! Perhaps when you are sitting as far right as our current class of conservative clowns, the middle looks like an entirely different place. After all, even many Republicans from only a couple decades ago, and certainly further, have stated they no longer recognize the Republican Party. These wing-nut, tea-bagging extremists have taken the party so far out of whack they think the center is somewhere between the sovereign citizen movement and three steps right of true center. They fail to recognize the Left at all, so true center is their “Left” and they are looking at the center as somewhere between that and the Cliven Bundy, “Duck Dynasty” crowd.

McConnell kept up his late night at the Improv routine by stating:

Reagan and Tip O’Neill found things that they could agree on. Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich found things that they could agree on. My first choice is to make some progress for the country, and the only way to do that with the president in the office is with his involvement. So that’s my first choice.

And what did McConnell really say there but a whole lot of nothing? “I want to make progress.” Great! Like what? In which direction? For whom? Forget for a moment that he talks as if it’s been President Obama who’s tackled progress, even routine services government is intended to provide this entire time. Right, Obama’s the one who shut down the government, don’t you remember? Because he didn’t cave and do exactly what the Republicans wanted. He forced them to shut down the government. It was his call; he’s the bad guy, certainly not Mitch McConnell and his puppy-dog-eyed Republican Party. Just look at them… aren’t they just so cute?

McConnell showed a bit of his hand, though, stating that there are “plenty of things we disagree on” and that the GOP is prepared to send bills to the President that “makes him uncomfortable.” Oh? Like reverting women’s reproductive rights, for instance?

McConnell stated:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sending the president a bill that makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t own the place! Congress is a factor, too. You know we are elected by our constituents all across America. We need to have an impact on policy as well.

McConnell continued the conservative victim routine by stating Democrats have killed every piece of Republican legislation that’s hit the Senate floor.

Responding to McConnell’s dogma, White House spokesperson Josh Earnest told CBS News:

For the last six years, the president spent his entire time fighting for the middle class. We have not seen that same kind of commitment from Republicans in Congress.

Take a moment to reflect, here, on the interests the Republican Party has been fighting for and cowing to over the last six years… See the difference?

Issues championed by Democrats and the President, such as equal pay for women in the workplace, reproductive rights and student loans, have all been stalled, kicked, tarred, feathered, and downright killed by the Republican Party over that same time period.

Earnest continued:

If Republicans want to move away from an agenda that only benefits special interests… then yeah, I do think we can make some progress.

Earnest added that the President’s proposals “aren’t Democratic or Republican.” That’s a nice sentiment, but it fails to recognize the aim and loyalties of the two parties. The Left works in one direction for one group of people and the Right works for another, overlapping only over corporate interests to screw the people.

Earnest also added that President Obama has always communicated his “willingness to work with anybody,” which is absolutely true, and the very crux of the Left’s frustrations with the President.

Earnest stated:

Actions speak a whole lot louder than words five days out from an election.

No doubt.

Yet, McConnell also tells Cordes that it is “embarrassing” how little Congress has accomplished in the last six years and maintained a straight face while he did it.

When pressed on the crevice between Tea Party members in Congress and the rest of the Republican Party, McConnell played it cool, stating that it should be easy enough to pull the two sides together.

Right, because it’s been just that easy so far, hasn’t it? That’s why Republicans are continually held hostage and cannibalized by the Tea Party, isn’t it? Sure, he’ll have them double-dating in no time.

Pouring salt on America’s frustrated wounds, McConnell stated:

There’s much that’s been done that needs to be undone, and much that’s been done that needs to be changed, and that will require legislation.

McConnell went on to say that, if elected Senate leader, he and everybody’s favorite tear-jerker, House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, would start cutting onions together in the White House kitchen to work out their agenda with a Republican caucus.

McConnell stated:

I think announcing the agenda before the election is over is somewhat akin to measuring the drapes, and the American people have not yet made the decision to entrust us with a majority in the Senate. I hope they make that decision, and if they do we’ll unveil it shortly thereafter.

Sure, because voters wouldn’t want to know your plans or what you intend to do while in office before voting you in. That’s crazy talk!

And what’s all this modesty about measuring drapes after making statements above like:

The main goal is to see whether we can make progress for the country, but obviously the president is the only person who can sign something into law. So whether we can make much progress the next few years depends on him. I’d like to see him move to the middle.

Whoa! Hold on there cowboy. You’re not in there yet. You don’t have the majority, so let’s hold off on talk about what you’d like to see the President do, eh? Easy, boy. Easy.

Clearly this turtle is chomping at the bit.

Looking forward once again (without, apparently, busting out the tape measure?) McConnell went on to say that priorities for the Republican Party will be a vote on the Keystone XL pipeline and a vote to repeal a medical device tax included in the Affordable Care Act his party feels is “unpopular.” Not to be picking out fabric or anything, McConnell also said that he and his members “have been talking about things we think could enjoy bipartisan support in the Senate – none of which have been allowed to be voted on by the current Senate.”

Do you see how McConnell talks out of both sides of his shell?

And I’m sure we’re all certain the Republicans would never kill a liberal bill with control of the Senate the way those mean old Democrats are always killing those conservative bills. What’s wrong with those lefties, anyway? Maybe their mothers didn’t love them enough and they’re just mad at the world. That’s why they at least allege to stand up for equal rights for all.

Stepping further into his interior decorating fetish, McConnell concluded his interview with Nancy Cordes of CBS News by underlining what he’d do differently with a Republican Senate than Harry Reid, such as allowing amendments to bills to be debated on the Senate floor and including additional Friday workdays in the Senate schedule.

Word on the street is he also offered new soda machines in the cafeteria and ordered a slew of new lampshades to match the curtains.

H/T: cbsnews.com / (Featured image courtesy of Flickr)

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