Everyone goes through a phase in their life where they create bad poetry. This is usually called “high school.”
Some people never seem to leave high school — among them, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who gave unto the world an anti-Hillary poem. . . and was subsequently mocked endlessly on Twitter for it.
“Blow a gasket”
It’s usually thought that poetry has to rhyme, but the only important feature about poetry is the meter and the stress, and even then, it’s not a hard and fast rule. Poetry is about playing with words to create ideas that transcend the words themselves, like prose, but poetry isn’t organized in a way that we talk.
Unfortunately, all everyone ever learns about poetry is that it, for some reason, has to rhyme.
That’s the lesson Huckabee took when he crafted the following award-winning poem he posted on Twitter:
Huckabee is mad because Clinton called Trump supporters what they were on Friday, and predictably, the thin-skinned bullies lashed out — Huckabee first among them.
Huckabee’s watered down haiku won’t be earning him any prizes, but it certainly earned him derision and mockery in Twitter, especially from those of us who’ve grown out of the stage of “bad poetry”:
.@GovMikeHuckabee didn't you try to run for president but quit because you ran out of breath?
— Going Kleer (@MilesKlee) September 10, 2016
.@GovMikeHuckabee … Go sit in the truck.
— John Cheese (@johncheese) September 10, 2016
@GovMikeHuckabee Bigoted ex-preacher says what?
— Sean McCabe (@darthstar99) September 10, 2016
— Lindsey HONEYCRISP B (@lindseybieda) September 10, 2016
— Brenda Bea (@MsBrendaBea) September 10, 2016
the name's hucka-B dopest lines you ever hizz-eard
I got more rhymes than my party's got wizards@GovMikeHuckabee
— The Big Sad Wolf (@SFtheWolf) September 10, 2016
— SLUDGE DADDY (@tylericarus) September 10, 2016
A man @GovMikeHuckabee, who clearly lacks in his views like his 'poetry', 4 all ears bleeding I am sorry, henceforth, a Twitter pity party
— Jaime King (@Jaime_King) September 10, 2016
Amusing as all this is, it’s easy to forget how terrible Huckabee is as a person. He is, after all, Josh Duggar’s best buddy — that tells you everything you need to know about him. That he’s relegated to bad poetry now is small comfort given that, for as terrible a person he is, the Republican party didn’t get any better with him out of the running — in fact, they arguably got worse.
feature image via the Daily Banter