Lindsey Graham Hilariously Drunk Blogged The Republican Debate


Lindsey Graham might be the most seasoned politico in the 2016 GOP presidential field, but he’s also at the bottom of the political heap, which meant that at polling below 1 percent, he was left out of Tuesday’s Fox Business Channel debate.

That’s not to say Graham remained silent. The South Carolina Senator, who is best as the war hawkish partner to losing presidential candidate, John McCain, had a glass (or more) of wine and took to Sidewire, a sort of political Twitter, to blog his feelings and the result is hilarious!

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Judging by the posts, which are often either intentionally or unintentionally hilarious, Graham seemed almost relieved that he could watch the debate from the comfort of his own chair. Here is some of the gold:

“America is looking for leadership & realistic plans to solve the problems we face – this is what I have to offer, above all, the Republican Party & the American people.”-Lindsey Graham

In the beginning, it wasn’t all fun and snark. He did, for a while, keep his candidate mask on:

“America is looking for leadership & realistic plans to solve the problems we face – this is what I have to offer, above all, the Republican Party & the American people.”

-Lindsey Graham

“The GOP is at our best when we don’t over promise & say things that can never become reality. A few on that stage tonight understand this, clearly others do not.”

-Lindsey Graham

Yes, he was hawkish in response to Bloomberg View’s Josh Rogin, who asked if we should accept secularism in Egypt:

“No. We should help Egypt fight radical Islam and push it to embrace a free press and the rule of law. To win the war against radical Islam there has to be economic and social justice.”

-Lindsey Graham

He also had to get an Obama jab or two in, from his hawkish perspective, of course:

“Every Republican should blame Obama for the rise of ISIL. His decision to withdraw all troops from Iraq, against sound military advice, and his refusal to help the Free Syrian Army when it would have mattered lead to ISIL.”

-Lindsey Graham

That’s when the snark began, but from the perspective of someone who’s been around the Capitol Street block more than a few times:

“Speaking of dead horses, I’m tired of hearing that we’re going to abolish the IRS when all of us know that’s not possible. Making it smaller is possible but Ted never lets details get in the way of a good story.”

-Lindsey Graham

“Why do we keep talking about tax plans that have no chance of becoming law?”

-Lindsey Graham

Graham’s BFF, John McCain chimed in:

“Glad to see my friend Lindsey giving some Straight Talk on Sidewire tonight – as usual, not holding back…”

-John McCain

When asked if he preferred the debate audience to be calm or raucous, Graham posted:

“Raucous, obviously. I grew up in a bar.”

-Lindsey Graham

Which brings us to the question: why do so many Republican politicians grow up in bars?

One question he ignored was what his replacement for the Affordable Care Act would be:

“Senator Graham, ideally, what would be your replacement for the Affordable Care Act?”

-Sopan Deb

More snark:

“Is the 3 page tax plan double spaced or single spaced?”

-Lindsey Graham

On Ted Cruz’ 10 percent flat tax rate:

“Abby – Here’s what I think you should ask Ted “How do you get Democrats to vote for a 10% tax rate? Sounds like if you like your doctor/health care plan, you can keep it.””

-Lindsey Graham

A little bitterness?:

“My advice to the candidates tonight: no matter what, don’t win the debate, they’ll kick you off the stage.”

-Lindsey Graham

Okay, that was a lot of bitterness.

While barring something really unusual, like the next debate stage collapsing and sucking all the GOP candidates into a vortex inside the earth, Graham will stay a fixture in the Senate, I actually kind of hope he sticks to social media commentary.

Featured image via Flickr

 

 

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