‘Liberal Media’ Columnist Officially Declares War On Ted Cruz – And It’s Hilarious


Ted Cruz declared war on the liberal media in a fundraising letter that Chicago Tribune columnist Rex Huppke received. Cruz called CNBC’s moderators “left-wing operatives,” according to The Hill, and actually got angry with them during the debate itself. Huppke won’t take this lying down, and has declared war on Ted Cruz.

Huppke started his column, which he called, “Ted Cruz declares war on ‘liberal media’ — so I declare war on Ted Cruz,” by flat-out saying he declares war on Cruz. Just like the headline states. Huppke isn’t known for beating around the bush in his commentaries, so it’s not totally surprising that he would be this blunt this early.

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One major complaint that Huppke has about Cruz’ declaration of war (besides the obvious we’re-too-stupid-to-field-real-questions-so-we’ll-resort-to-ad-hominem-attacks-on-all-media nonsense) is this:

[Republicans] have a ‘Hatfields and McCoys’-like response to fact-laden questions.

They do. Their entire platform is fact-free. The policies they support are fact-free. If none of that were true, they wouldn’t be all upset that the moderators were asking questions they didn’t like.

Of course, the media only goes after Republicans this hard. Democrats get off easy. How do their questions compare to questions asked at the recent Democratic debate? Huppke has a handy-dandy answer for that, where he says:

Hillary Clinton was asked: Will you say anything to get elected?; Do you change your political identity based on who you’re talking to?; How can you credibly represent the views of the middle class?; Do you regret your vote on the Patriot Act?; and, on Benghazi, Should you have seen the attack coming?

Bernie Sanders was asked: How can any kind of socialist win a general election in the United States?; Do black lives matter, or do all lives matter?; and, Would you shut down the NSA surveillance program?

He was also asked this corker: ‘You supported the Sandinistas in Nicaragua. You honeymooned in the Soviet Union. And just this weekend, you said you’re not a capitalist. Doesn’t — doesn’t that ad write itself?’

Ouch…lest we forget, the Sandinistas were fighting the Contras in Nicaragua, and it was the Contras that Reagan officially-unofficially supported via the Iran-Contra Affair. But hey, that’s not a tough question. Certainly not like being asked, “What’s your biggest weakness?” It’s hard to believe that CNBC dared to ask such a question, and of all the candidates at once! The horror!

Huppke does some of his own fact-checking and provides some of his own information as evidence that the candidates stretched the truth, avoided questions, or lied (we’re looking at you, Donald Trump). You can read his entire column at the link above. The end of his column is the best part, though. It contains the formal declaration of war on Ted Cruz:

OFFICIAL DECLARATION OF WAR:

Whereas Ted Cruz has formally declared war against the people of the mainstream (or lamestream or liberal) media of the United States of America:

Therefore, be it Resolved by the Secret Cabal of Liberal Media Overlords that the state of war between the media and Ted Cruz, which has thus been thrust upon the media by Ted Cruz being a total jerk, is hereby formally declared. Rex Huppke, as a representative of the media, is hereby authorized and directed to employ the entire forces available to the media, including but not limited to: pens that can be waved in a menacing manner; paper-cut inducing notepads; barrels of ink; and limitless Internet space, to carry on war against Ted Cruz and to bring the conflict to a successful termination.

And there you have it. Need we say more?

 


Featured image by Gage Skidmore. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Flickr

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