Now that the era of the most ridiculous Republican primary season in history is essentially over, all that’s left is to kick those who are down with repeated insults and reminders that the campaigns they had their mothers say were ordained by God himself came to a screeching halt in May. Yes, that’s Ted Cruz for you. Donald Trump, with the brilliant strategy of “8th-grade bully,” took Cruz’s lunch money, pulled his underwear up over his head and stuffed him in the head cheerleader’s locker.
Then there’s Sarah Palin…for some reason. Whenever Sarah Palin starts coming around regularly it’s a sign that something incredibly stupid is about to happen. She does things like leave her husband’s side while he’s in intensive care after a snowmobile accident to campaign for Trump, making a fool of herself the whole way. Now she says she’s vetted better than anyone, even though the only people still bothering to throw punches at her are those of us on the left who find her existence in and of itself amusing enough to follow.
Stephen King, whose input into these things rarely makes much difference but is fun as hell to read, has obviously had enough of this dynamic duo of the most annoying the Republican party has to offer:
Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin:sublimely irritating political speakers. Listening to them is like having root canal surgery without anesthetic.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) May 8, 2016
“Sublimely irritating.” A wordsmith has a way with words, does he not? According to Google, he does. He could probably have used several euphemisms that would have been effective enough, but root canal surgery pretty much says it all.
There is, regretfully, the off-chance that Donald Trump will do something as stupid as give the Vice Presidency to who he’s probably promised it to. Imagine you’re Donald Trump. You’re a horrible businessman who plays his cards too early and breaks even. He’s probably made backroom handshake deals with Chris Christie and Sarah Palin — and who knows who else. Did Ted Cruz drop out when he did so the wounds could heal before the GOP convention? Cruz’s campaign seems to think Marco Rubio caused all their problems now. Is something going on to distract the base of idiots with a shiny object while the dream team of Ted Cruz and Donald Trump comes to fruition?
All speculation of course and all brought to you by one righteous tweet from Stephen King. His assessment of Cruz and Palin is so right everything else seems wrong.
Featured image via Twitter