Hey Donald Trump! You Forgot To Trademark These Words


Earlier this year Trump for President LLC trademarked two of the most asinine words ever: Trumpocrat and Trumpublican. We are not kidding.

The Washington Post reported that Trump trademarked the two words for his campaign purposes in January:

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[for] bumper stickers; campaign buttons; pennants; decals; coffee mugs; banners; baseball caps; t-shirts; bookends; salt and pepper shakers; posters; shirts; ties; cufflinks; colognes; chocolate; nameplates; key rings; eyewear; playing cards; surfboards; editions of automobiles; other items susceptible to be used as political advertising; membership organizations; all manner of political paraphernalia; all designed to augment the candidacy of Donald Trump.

Unfortunately for us, but fortunately for cars and coffee mugs everywhere, Trump’s campaign abandoned the trademark applications only two months later.

This isn’t the first time Trump has trademarked things. He has trademarked a number of words and phrases The Post reported:

He trademarked “Westchester” (art prints, puzzles and letter openers), “Fakefest” (!) (a music festival) and “Tobacco Road” (entertainment services). And of course, all manner of “Trump _____” marks: Trump Steaks, Trump Money, Trump Records, Trump D’Elegance (an auto show), Purely Trump (a water) and Tour de Trump, which was a bike race.

So If You Only News has decided that we would come up with a few other words for Trump to trademark:

  1. Trumphole
  2. Trumpbecile
  3. Trumper Tantrum (suggestion from writer Thamiel Rosenkreuz)
  4. Trumpf*ck
  5. Trumpelstiltskin
  6. Donald F*ck (suggestion from writer Elisabeth Parker)
  7. Donald Chump (suggestion from writer Dylan Hock)
  8. Trumpinator (E.P.)
  9. Donald Grump (D.H.)
  10. Trumproast (E.P.)
  11. Trumpcard (suggested by writer Wes Williams)

Seriously, why stop with Trumpublican? He has soooooo many more options!

Trump should just trademark the entire dictionary; after all, he does already act like he owns the world.

This guy is such a joke. I mean, yeah, we have fun making jokes about him, but the fact that he is ahead of all of the other Republican candidates in the polls is really, really scary. The rest of the world has to be mocking us and I have to say that they are right for doing so.

Featured image via Instagram

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