The Bible gets a little bit longer every time Chuck Norris writes a new article for Townhall.com. Chuck Norris, who won a staring contest with the sun, is showing why he is the perfect Republican.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to check his facts; Chuck Norris decides what is fact.
A known silver-spooner, Norris is out of touch with the average American and is obviously working for those who seek to see the middle-class disappear. Townhall has given him a platform for propaganda.
Chucky’s articles are typically amusing to people who realize he’s just a man, a bad actor, and a political meat head. In a recent article defending torture without defending torture, Chuck Norris pulls off a fantastic bit of hypocrisy.
Norris claims that the CIA torture report was released to cover for Jonathan Gruber’s testimony on his remarks about Obamacare:
Democrats are the masters of deceptive persuasion, meaning they will take our attention off something they have really screwed up and put it on something that’s not quite so bad. And chief among those masters is he who resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington, D.C.
Norris is saying that the torture report was released, because it’s not so bad, to cover for a page 4 Congressional hearing the Democrats really screwed up.
In essence Chuck Norris has attempted to deflect our attention from the torture report by covering it with something not nearly as bad. There you have it, America, Chuck Norris decides what is important and what is not. Chuck Norris is also an incredible hypocrite.
Not to worry, Norris fans. Chuck will contact the dictionary and have the meaning of the word changed to “someone who speaks the truth because Chuck Norris said so.”
Chuck really should have stopped there, but he didn’t. The rest of the article is every bit as ridiculous as Chuck Norris decides what issues the Obama Administration used to cover for things he disagrees with.
And I’m sure it was a coincidence in December 2009 — at the very moment when Obamacare’s passing seemed to be in jeopardy in the Senate — that Obama ordered the mission for the U.S. to attack an alleged al-Qaida camp in Yemen that allegedly caused the deaths of civilians, including women and children.
The unintentional killing of women and children in a strike on an al-Qaeda camp was used to secure those last crucial votes for the Affordable Care Act? Brilliant. The 60 vote Democratic super-majority had nothing to do with it.
And I’m sure it was just a coincidence that when National Security Agency whistleblower Edward Snowden prompted Obama’s scandal about electronic spying on the private lives of almost every voter in America, the president thrust our attention oversees with his surprise decision to provide weapons, ammunition and air power to the Syrian rebels.
Three weeks after the Snowden incident, President Obama called Assad and told him to be extra cruel to his people. Obama then decided to send weapons to the rebels Assad was fighting, not to give common people a fighting chance against tyranny, but to deflect attention from something that had been page 1 news for nearly a month. Another stunning Norris discovery:
And I’m sure it was just a coincidence that when Obama and his Department of Veterans Affairs started to nosedive over the debacle in the veterans hospital, Obama again lured our eyes abroad by deciding to trade five Guantanamo Bay detainees for Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl.
Just. . . what? Norris cleverly uses conservative taboo in the form of a “traitor” to accuse the President of covering for the DVA debacle. I have news for you, Chuck. Issues like wait times for veterans leading to their deaths don’t go away because the President trades someone you don’t like for enemy combatants. Had he traded them for a marine who broke Mexican gun laws this wouldn’t be an issue, would it?
And I’m sure it was just a coincidence that when the select committee formed to investigate what really happened in Benghazi, Libya, Obama and his cronies drew the world’s attention to how much they were concerned for the kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls.
Which select committee would that be? The 3rd? Or was it the 6th? Nobody can tell anymore, and nobody cares since the report came out that there was no wrong-doing on the part of the Administration. Please stop using dead Americans for political gain.
And I’m sure it was just a coincidence that when the Islamic State group was hacking the heads off Americans in the Middle East, Obama put people’s attention over in Africa, sending 3,000 military personnel to Liberia to help combat Ebola, the Pentagon’s No. 1 priority. (Remember Ebola, the virus the White House initially said would never reach the U.S.?)
Did Chuck Norris just suggest that the Ebola “crisis” was manufactured? Well yes, Chuck, it was. It was manufactured as a campaign tool by Republicans. Is it a priority to combat a disease that if left to do its damage could potentially wipe out an entire continent and become the first world-wide pandemic since smallpox? It was to Republicans in October, now Chuck Norris says we did too much as he points out that the disease made it to the U.S.
Chuck Norris gets dumber by the minute.
And I’m sure it is just a coincidence, too, that Obama has utilized the recent riots and protests over police brutality for his political expediency. (He actually prefers to have others create the wag for him!) As the media and nation focus their attention on race baiting, Obama’s executive order about illegal immigration has been pushed out of their minds.
“Quick, black people are 22 times more likely to be killed by police than white people; get me a pen so I can finally do something about the immigration issue congress refuses to act on. As a special measure I’ll do an interview and challenge congress to pass a bill that negates my executive order. All they have to do is their jobs. Call Ohio and see if we can’t make this thing last a little longer and have a 12-year-old murdered for carrying a BB gun.”
It was bad enough when Chuck decided that the answer to black peoples’ problems was for them to be more like Cuba Gooding Jr. in Pearl Harbor. Now their strife can all be blamed on the President treating them as an opportunity to act on immigration?
Chuck Norris is preposterous. Chuck Norris is building off of some tough-guy persona, making him the poster-boy for white conservative racist scumbags who don’t need facts or reason to hate the President.
Chuck Norris hates the President, and Chuck Norris is never wrong.
H/T: Town Hall | Image: bornrich.com