Well, it looks like the low budget, revolutionary nitwits of Broke-Ass Mountain are a little butt hurt this week because citizens were sending them boxes of sex toys instead of the much needed French vanilla creamer they requested to sustain their rebellion. After two weeks of a sad and almost comical armed protest, Oregon’s floundering “Tree House Bandits” AKA Ammon Bundy’s Ranchers Militia might finally be calling it quits.
Many of you may remember Ammon Bundy and his not ready for prime time militia group, Citizens for Constitutional Freedom, they’re the well equipped freedom fighters who courageously took over a well-guarded, federal stronghold and liberated it from the clutches of tyranny — at least in their own mind.
In reality Bundy’s make-believe insurgents waltzed into an Oregon wildlife refuge where he and his men haven’t really stage a political coup as much as an armed sleepover, while asking for all the amenities associated with any successful rebellion — such as dish soap, oven cleaner and throw rugs.
After only a few days the militia’s situation quickly deteriorated, not because of the savvy anti-terrorism tactics of local police, but because of infighting, drunken brawls, and their war chest being commandeered by one of their own and spent on a night of binge drinking.
As the group has become a national joke, and the fires of rebellion have been quickly extinguished by the barrage of mocking that Bundy’s group has endured on social media, Ammon Bundy announced on Tuesday that their occupation will most likely be coming to an end. This Friday Bundy and his militant misfits will be holding an open town hall at the Burns Community center to announce their plans to bring their idiotic insurrection to an end.
One can only hope that this comedy of errors will discourage the next bunch of delusional jacka*ses from picking up guns and marching on a federal land.
Featured image via writer