Ann Coulter is positively giddy over Donald Trump, sharing her love for Trump and her hatred for everyone who isn’t white during the same Eagle Forum’s Collegian Summit that gave us Steve King’s lawnmower comment and Louie Gohmert’s island experiment.
While speaking before the crowd of young conservatives, Coulter was singing the praises of the Teflon Don, saying that Trump is “more likely to be the next president than Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio” even if he runs on a third party ticket. She was so giddy, in fact, she announced her willingness to be considered as a nominee for Head of Homeland Security under Donald Trump.
The Troll Who Stole Christmas
Coulter argued that without Trump nobody would be talking about immigration, and the campaign platforms would be focused exclusively on “transgenderism and gay marriage and global warming.”
“I would like to be the head of Donald Trump’s Homeland Security,” Coulter announced. She added, “I’ll get it all done before breakfast” because she “could kind of guess who the criminals are going to be at least 50 percent of the time.”
According to her, previous generations of immigrants (i.e, the white ones) were more suitable because “people proved their heartiness to get here by vomiting all the way across the Atlantic Ocean.”
If vomiting were all it took to certify citizenship, they could just hand all incoming immigrants a copy of Coulter’s newest book. The one who vomits the most gets the first dibs on citizenship, and beating your head until you black out to dull the pain is cheating.
Coulter said of Ellis Island immigrants, “There was no pussyfooting around,” and, “We’re assimilating you, you’re here and you’re going to be an American. There will be no celebration of Cinco de Mayo, there will be no Ramadan, in fact there won’t even be a Feast of the Immaculate Conception – we are an Anglo-Protestant country, and you will learn about the Battle of Valley Forge.”
So, What Qualifies As A Protestant Holiday?
The Feast of the Immaculate Conception, as you can probably guess, is Catholic. What this means is that Coulter would ban Catholic holidays just like she would ban Muslim and any other religious holidays.
What other holidays would end up getting banned under Coulter? She mentioned Ramadan, Cinco de Mayo and the Feast of the Immaculate Conception because she was speaking to a rabidly racist audience. But here’s a few she conveniently ignored:
- Diwali — this is a Hindi holiday first given official status by President Bush.
- Easter — Easter is a Catholic holiday, following Lent.
- Christmas — It’s right there in the name: Christmas, or Mass of Christ. Early Puritans didn’t even celebrate Christmas; it took a proto-socialist to make Christmas famous again and launch it to its modern position in the pantheon of holidays. And with it goes . . .
- New Year’s Eve — This is an entirely secular festival based on the resetting of a year on a calendar named after a Catholic pope. This is obviously out.
- The Fourth of July — I dare you find any scriptural support for the Fourth of July to prove it’s a Protestant holiday. And it’s not an English holiday, either, so that rules it out entirely.
- Passover — Pesach is a Jewish holiday.
- Halloween — The better known moniker for All Saint’s Eve or All Hallow’s Eve; Halloween is strictly a Catholic thing, when it’s not being a pagan one. The symbol for Halloween, the Jack-o-Lantern, is an Irish Catholic tradition.
If there’s a holiday I left off, it wasn’t intentional; there’s no scriptural support for any holiday except possibly the Jewish High Holy Days, and those would be banned because they’re Jewish. So there you have it, an administration under Ann Coulter, the Troll who Stole Christmas.
Listen to Coulter’s rabid bigotry below:[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/217225752″] [soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/217225751″]
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