Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina announced her 2016 run on Monday, and things aren’t going quite so well for the newest of eleventy billion Republican Presidential hopefuls. One wonderful jokester noticed that the ousted former CEO didn’t register carlyfiorina.org, and this as of yet unknown individual figured it was as much a crime to leave this particular web space empty as it was for Fiorina to lay off 30,000 people.
Our hero titled the web site, “Carly Fiorina failed to register this domain,” and explained that he or she is “using it to tell you how many people she laid off at Hewlett-Packard.” Obviously, the best way to do this was in a manner even the most braindead of conservatives can understand: With 30,000 frowny faces:
The frowny faces continue for a while — you know, because there are thirty thousand of them.
“That’s 30,000 people she laid off. People with families. And what does she say she would have done differently?” the domain’s owner asked before quoting Fiorina:
I would have done them all faster.
“We went from a market laggard to market leader,” Fiorina said of her six years running HP. “Unlike Hillary, I have actually accomplished something.”
And she sure did accomplish something. The Guardian listed some of the presidential hopeful’s accomplishments:
But those who watched what Fiorina did to HP – mishandling the $25bn acquisition of Compaq, getting ousted by the board in 2005 with a $21m golden parachute, repeatedly being named one of the worst CEOs in American corporate history – say those supposed accomplishments are already coming back to “haunt” her run for the White House.
“She put herself ahead of the interests of the company and I fear she would do the same as president,” Jason Burnett, a grandson of the late HP co-founder David Packard and a member of the Packard Foundation board of trustees, told the Guardian. “I don’t want her to do harm to this country.”
“She didn’t know what she was doing and couldn’t deliver on her promises,” said former HP director of corporate communications Roy Verley. He described the very notion that Fiorina was successful at Hewlett-Packard as a “fantasy.”
Looks like someone failed to learn the lesson of tedcruz.com, which reads “SUPPORT PRESIDENT OBAMA. IMMIGRATION REFORM NOW.”
Tsk, tsk, Carly.