It’s no secret that many pastors in America are raging homophobes — men like Stephen Anderson, who wants to cure AIDS by killing all the gays in the world and buy a bakery just so he can discriminate against the LGBT community. But rarely are we treated to such a massive display of stupidity, fear, and unabashed, naked insanity as we find in the unhinged ravings of Christian pastor Kevin Swanson at the “National Religious Liberties Conference,” a gathering of “loving Christians” which featured literature that supports instituting the death penalty for gay people.
At such a “Christian” lovefest, one would expect at least mildly homophobic rants from speakers. After all, the religious right is running out of groups against which they can legally discriminate. But Swanson stepped up on the stage and exceeded expectations in a gigantic, stompy fit that included assertions that Americans need to apologize to God because fictional British wizard Harry Potter’s mentor was gay, all gays should be killed (but only after they are given a chance to repent), and other horrific, deluded, and downright insane statements — like that if he ever catches his son marrying a dude, he will roll around in a pile of sht at the entrance of the church, because why the f*ck not?:
There are families, we’re talking Christian families, pastors’ families, elders’ families from good, godly churches whose sons are rebelling, hanging out with homosexuals and getting married and the parents are invited. What would you do if that was the case? Here is what I would do: sackcloth and ashes at the entrance to the church and I’d sit in cow manure and I’d spread it all over my body. That is what I would do and I’m not kidding, I’m not laughing.
Why would he rub cow manure all over his body? Well, for the same reason any sane, rational human being would: He’s sad, and it’s “not gay time.”
“I’m grieving! I’m mourning! I’m pointing out the problem! It’s not a gay time! These are the people with the sores! The gaping sores!” Swanson continued, “the sores that are pussy and gross and people are coming in and carving happy faces on the sores. That’s not a nice thing to do.”
“Don’t you dare carve happy faces on open, pussy sores!” Swanson hysterically commanded. “Don’t you ever do that! Don’t you ever do that! I tell you don’t do it!” Almost ironically, Swanson pretty much summed up the conference in general:
America needs to hear the message: We are messed up.
Sometimes, no commentary is needed at all. Sometimes, all you really need to do is kick back and enjoy the sound of Christian fundamentalist hatred imploding. No, there isn’t a “pop” or a “bang” — it sounds more like a pastor standing on a stage screaming about rubbing shit all over himself, as the entire macabre fantasy nearly moves him to tears. The sound of the self-destruction of Republican “Christian” values is Kevin Swanson opening his big, stupid mouth.
Watch him implode, below:
Featured Image via Screengrab