A lot of sad stories can be found in the LGBTQ subreddits on the popular social networking site Reddit. Unfortunately, despite marriage equality and growing acceptance for LGBTQ, there are still a lot of LGBTQ kids growing up in homophobic home environments. Reddit user jason45q was one such kid. Now 27-years-old, “Jason” is now on his own, but he certainly had it rough as the gay son of a homophobic mother.
According to his Reddit posts, he left home at 18, right after revealing his sexual orientation to his mother. Then, years later, he found himself facing another nightmare: his younger brother had made the mistake of telling their mother, ever the homophobe, that he is gay as well. Here, you can read the post in “Jason’s” own words, courtesy of Queerty:
My mother is a very complicated woman. She can be really sweet, but fucking batshit crazy at other times. I moved out a long time ago, I’m 27 and I left the house as soon as I turned 18 (also right after coming out). She didn’t disown me, but made a lot of homophobic remarks about me “joining the fags” and denying her grandchildren.
Today, I received a very angry phone call from my mom. I have a younger brother who’s 14 who lives with my parents and my sister. My mom snooped through his phone and apparently found a few texts to his friend confessing that he was gay. Suddenly, I’m responsible for engulfing him with my rainbow wrath when I barely see him.
I have considered trying to get him to move here with me but I don’t think he’d want to leave everything behind. My family would also have a fit.
Of course, “Jason” knew that his little brother would be much happier and healthier finishing out his childhood in his home, rather than that of their bigoted mother. He knew the complicated consequences of taking his brother from their mother– but, ultimately, he did it anyway. He, like so many of us in the LGBTQ community, knows how hard it is to survive a homophobic home. To that end, he did the only thing he felt he could do: he adopted his 14-year-old brother. He described the situation, in an update to his original Reddit post, and his reasons for doing what he did:
I read all the comments, each and every single one. However, about an hour after writing the post, I grew impatient and just drove to my parents’ house…My mom lost her shit when I came, said that I was going to make it worse. She’s kept a little quiet though (probably because she realized she can’t do much at this point).
My younger brother is fine…He believes he’s 90% gay. He doesn’t notice girls, but notices guys. He said he’s felt deeper connections with them and is crushing on his friend (basically all the things we all had to deal with when we were young anyway).
I told him about moving in with me and switching schools. I tried to make him understand that he needs to be in a healthier environment and does not need to be taking any shit from my mom. He was very hesitant about leaving his friends, but he’s agreed to move in with me in the next month or so. And for those of you asking if I can afford it, I very much can.
Today morning I told my mother he was going to stay with me. She wanted to argue, but held back. She knows she crossed my patience limit a long time ago, so it was relatively easy. I’m getting forms from the lawyer tomorrow about making me his legal guardian. My mom agreed to sign it saying “it’s probably better for me that you two will be gone anyway” and my dad gives negative two shits about anything so that’ll be easy.
I guess I can say this is off to a more positive start. I can get to know him better now and at the same time protect him from emotional abuse. He’s a very soft spoken kid, a little too passive and lets people run over him. I was the opposite- and by that I mean very stubborn, rebellious and maybe a bit of an asshole…but it’s what helped me move out I guess. Now I’ll be able to toughen him up a little and build some more confidence in him.
Thanks for all the advice, it was very much appreciated. I will not call child services anymore, since he’s not going back anyway. I’d rather she suffers in silence as she realizes she drove her sons away. She’ll never admit it but I’m sure it’s there.
Considering these boys’ mother’s attitudes, “Jason” is absolutely right. Who knows if that fragile 14-year-old boy would be able to survive his high school years in that household? Well, thankfully, no one will have to find that out, since he has the best older brother in the world. Good luck to both of these guys. If only every LGBTQ youth had an older brother like jason45q.
Featured image via Flickr