Sunday night, Fox aired the 2016 Miss Universe pageant. Yes, that throwback to a more simple time, when women were viewed as pieces of meat. It’s still a thing. Among the ways the tributes women are attired include evening wear and swimsuits. But the best part is the parade of country costumes. In alphabetical order, the tributes contestants come out on stage in a costume meant to represent their country. Some are understated — Greece and Korea — but most try to outdo one another. From feathers to rhinestones to bangles to bus fronts, the costumes might make one think of the country. But, mostly, they make you think “WTH?”
Here are my choices for the weirdest costumes of the night (and, please, I am not criticizing the young ladies nor their countries, just the costumes):
Miss Lebanon apparently thought she was going to a Ren Faire.
Miss Spain seemed to be confused on whether this was a ladies pageant or one for men. And those pre-schoolers want their costume trunk back.
Here, Miss Puerto Rico shows off the elegant tiles one associates with her lovely country. I hear the tile beaches are lovely.
Honestly, Miss Nicaragua is in there somewhere. Can you say “overmuch?”
Sure, Rubik was Hungarian but is the cube really a great choice for a costume?
I get that Miss Haiti is supposed to be a bird, but I didn’t realize that descendants of the Roc settled in Haiti and took on tropical coloring
Miss Ghana had less material in her costume than that circle did. BTW, what is that thing?
Yes, Miss Curacao, you have birds. But is the Navi blueface racist? Is this cultural appropriation?
Hey, Miss Canada wore a feathered totem pole!
What is Miss British Virgin Islands wearing? Is she sitting on a Ritz on top of a parsley garnish? I’m confused.
Yes, I know that these young women are the pride of their countries. They are beautiful and intelligent and should be respected. And I do respect them. I just question the costume designers who thought that hiding their contestants in sequins, feathers, bus fronts and skulls was the best way to show off the heritage of their respective countries.
These young ladies bore the costumes with grace and poise, to their credit. But silly is silly and these were the silliest. Can’t wait to see next year’s crop.
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