It’s tough being a conservative in America these days. After decades of dog whistle racism, unrestrained greed, non-stop bigotry and general scumminess, the right wing has a real public relations problem. For some bizarre reason, people can’t stop conflating conservatism with the worst America has to offer.
Imagine that!
But, wait! It’s social media to the rescue! On Sunday, Future Female Leaders (an “empowering” site for right-wing ladies with a pink high heel shoe as a logo. Seriously) posted a meme for #ConservativeBecause to rally like-minded folks to explain why they’re a conservative. It was supposed to be a cheerleading session for the right.
It started off well:
Please join the @FFL_of_America ladies and I tonight as we share our #conservativebecause stories!! pic.twitter.com/3QZhwtQOMt
— Robin Karns (@robin_karns) July 10, 2016
And several people happily explained their vision for America:
#ConservativeBecause I value ALL human life. All races, all genders, born, and unborn.
— Moriah Kristen (@moriahdemartino) July 11, 2016
#ConservativeBecause I value manners, morals, and intelligence
— Bluegrass Belle (@BluegrassBelle_) July 11, 2016
#ConservativeBecause I wanna be a Nancy Reagan in a world of Kim Kardashians.
— Bluegrass Belle (@BluegrassBelle_) July 11, 2016
It sounds so uplifting and sincere! But then those pesky liberals noticed it and started talking about the other part of conservatism. You know, the part that made Donald Trump, a racist, xenophobic misogynist, the presumptive nominee….
Craig Rozniecki, a political satirist, was the first snowflake in the avalanche of trolling to follow:
#ConservativeBecause Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich, and their ten wives have helped uphold the sanctity of marriage.
— Craig Rozniecki (@CraigRozniecki) July 11, 2016
And it went downhill from there:
#ConservativeBecause you wish things had never progressed beyond segregation and women staying in the home.
— Sean Kent (@seankent) July 11, 2016
#ConservativeBecause fluoride chemtrails made me gay
— Emily Robinson (@See_Em_Play) July 11, 2016
#ConservativeBecause rejecting science and embracing anti-intellectualism makes it so much easier to legitimize my zealotry!
— Caroline O. (@RVAwonk) July 11, 2016
the poor put-upon white male has gone from controlling 100% of the world to a minuscule 99.999995% percent of it #ConservativeBecause
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) July 11, 2016
#ConservativeBecause My compassion is shallow as a puddle and bigotry as deep as the Grand Canyon.
— Scott Colbert (@ScottColbert) July 11, 2016
#ConservativeBecause I believe marriage is sacred & between a man & a woman. And my secretary and the occasional hooker—but no gay stuff!
— Scott Wooledge (@Clarknt67) July 11, 2016
#ConservativeBecause now that whites are a minority, I’m afraid they’ll treat us exactly how we treated them.
— RiskyLiberal (@RiskyLiberal) July 11, 2016
There are hundreds upon hundreds of these tweets exposing the ugliness at the core of American conservatism and it’s just getting started. But here’s my favorite one so far. This one tweet is absolutely perfect. It’s my favorite because it’s from a conservative who does a better job of explaining what’s wrong with conservatives better than any of the liberals making fun of them:
#ConservativeBecause we’ll go extinct before I procreate with any of these monsters pic.twitter.com/gnm40CA5vf
— Jared Wyand (@JaredWyand) July 11, 2016
Because nothing says “I’m a right winger!” better than calling women protesting against rape culture “monsters.” You just can’t make this stuff up.
Head on over to twitter and share YOUR insights as to why people are conservatives. Have fun!
Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images
