Chuck Norris Takes Credit For Destroying Communism: NOT SATIRE!


Chuck Norris has gone completely delusional. In a recent article for the only conservative rag that will have him, Townhall.com, Norris pats himself on the back and takes credit for the demise of communism in Romania:

I was humbled and honored to see on various global news networks how my action movies that were pirated into Romania when it was a communist country inspired generations and set the stage for revolution against former dictator Nicolae Ceausescu.

Chuck Norris has never been humble about anything. Chucky did continue on to mention the people of Romania having something to do with it, right before he stroked his ego again by posting the headlines he’s so “humbled” by:

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Here’s a sample of headline news from around the globe this past week:

BBC News: “Talking Movies: How Chuck Norris changed Romania.”

Fox News: “‘Chuck Norris vs. Communism’: How American movies helped overthrow Romanian regime.”

WorldNetDaily: “Chuck Norris now credited for cracking communism.”

National Post: “Cold War hot takes: Chuck Norris and other secret weapons for tackling Russia onscreen.”

New York Post: “How Chuck Norris ‘defeated’ Communism.”

Daily Herald: “Sundance Notebook: Communism can’t handle Chuck Norris.”

Indiewire: “‘Chuck Norris vs. Communism’ Shows How the American Dream Toppled a Communist Regime.”

Good golly, Chuck. It’s as if you’re using your ‘stature’ as a columnist and person who had eleven minutes of relevance twenty years ago to promote something:

All the recent media hoopla stems from the Sundance Film Festival premiere of the documentary “Chuck Norris vs. Communism,” which utilizes my action films and me as a metaphor for heroism and strength.

Again, so very humble.  Chuck Norris needs to settle himself down and realize that he’s nothing but a joke to most people. The people who idolize this imbecile are the gun-toting ammosexuals who think when the revolution comes they’ll find themselves in a foxhole Chuck Norris dug personally ducking Obama bullets next to the beard they so admire.

Perusing his drivel I found almost every paragraph had a reference to a specific horrible movie nobody cares about, most likely to try to drive up DVD sales from the $3 bin at Walmart.

After skipping most of the article, because Chuck Norris writes like a seventh-grade school newspaper reporter, I couldn’t help but laugh my butt off when I got to the end and read this:

If my action movies have the power to help liberate people, maybe it’s time for our amazing military to covertly airdrop, smuggle and spread via computer more of them into such countries as North Korea, Syria and Iran. It can call the mission Operation Digital Delta Force!

Oh, Chucky. The joke goes on, and you seriously don’t even see it. You’re a self-righteous has-been who went so far as to use his own picture as the featured image for an article he wrote to compensate for twenty years of inadequacy.

It may be said that Chuck Norris is impossible to kill, a statement that obviously doesn’t include his credibility.

Featured Image: Townhall.com

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