5 Ways Donald ‘Jacka$$’ Trump Celebrates Labor Day (HUMOR)


With Labor Day upon us and the fact that most of our jobs were shipped overseas, it’s a wonder we don’t celebrate it in Vietnam. Each and every one of the 2016 GOP Insane Clown Posse have their own ideas for ensuring that the job cremators, their political sugar daddies, keep having it their way.

But bloviating ignoramus Donald “Jacka$$” Trump, being a billionaire himself and rife with his own campaign cash, is a special kind of a-hole. When it comes to jobs and raising people’s standard of living, Trump’s plan is to build a luxurious wall to keep out all of those rapin’ illegals.

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So I figured it would be funny if I imagined 5 Ways Donald ‘Jacka$$’ Trump Celebrates Labor Day:

  1. Get out of bed made out of cash and dead union workers and take a dump on a copy of Elizabeth Warren’s book.
  2. Has his Lithuanian maid fetch him his bathrobe made out of the 47 sewn-together hides of endangered species — all while he explains how much he loves that it was made in Chinese sweatshops for pennies on the dollar.
  3. Has his maid pour him a glass of mercury-laden tap water, all while he happily explains how he loves that industry gets to dump tons of chemicals into nearby drinking water reservoirs, with taxpayers footing the bill.
  4. Get’s dressed and has his personal pilot fire up the jet. While on said jet, he gleefully explains why he doesn’t give a living crap about roads being unpaved and dilapidated since…he has his own private jet.
  5. Finally, arrives at a campaign rally where he screams about Obama being a socialist and not lowering taxes on his fellow corporations people, as well as ranting about Mexicans ruining America. Then, when the cameras are off, he and his fellow corporations friends laugh and smoke Cuban cigars, all while denouncing Obama normalizing relations with Cuba.

Featured image via video screen capture from YouTube

michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on TwitterFacebook,   and ImpressionsGuy.com

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