For quite some time, Billionaire entrepreneur and King of Bankruptcy Donald Trump has been teasing the political comedy gods with a potential presidential run. He spent most of 2011 and 2012 demanding that President Obama show him his long form birth certificate, because he’s the Donald and you’re not. And, when he wasn’t doing that, he was spending time on
the Senate floor NBC, doing the highly qualified presidential work of firing Gary Busey, the guy who gets his wisdom from a sea shell. He’s also shown that he can be just as burnt orange as House Speaker John Boehner, which means he clearly understands the intricacies of governance. Obviously the nation is simply clamoring for cheaper tanning bed rates and there’s no more coveted vote than the Snookie demographic.
But it seems that thing on his head finally went to his head, as the Donald is now an official Republican (or “Trumplican”) entrant in the 2016 Presidential Race. Since anyone with a fully functioning cerebral cortex (maybe excluding Fox News) clearly knows that a majority of the gazillion Republicans running for president are doing it solely to sell books and increase name recognition. But since there’s little to no evidence indicating that Donald Trump knows how to read, it’s palpably clear that this is just his biggest publicity stunt to date. Nobody takes him seriously and nobody should, which is why I decided to identify 10 things–ridiculous though they may be–much more electable than Donald Trump.
1. Wilson (the Soccer Ball from Castaway)
2. Heather Mills’ Fake Leg
4. Zombie Ronald Reagan
5. The Charred Pink Teddy Bear with One Eyeball From Breaking Bad
6. The AIDS Monkey
7. The Imaginary Barack Obama Chair
8. Towelie (The Pot Smoking Towel from South Park)
9. Jar-Jar Binks
10. An Ugly Christmas Sweater
Featured image via Sodahead