Before You’re An A**hole About That Holiday Greeting, Consult This Handy Chart


Which holiday do you celebrate in December: Christmas? Chanukah? Yule? None at all? There are so many holidays this month that it’s easy to get confused. What, with so many people getting offended these days, you have to know which holiday (or none) they celebrate before you greet them. Or maybe not. There must be one greeting that encompasses all of that?

There are up to eleven holidays (at least) that fall in the month of December, depending on the lunar calendars of some religions. And that’s not including all of the Catholic Saint’s Days. How on earth is one supposed to know which one any other person celebrates? You can’t go by looks, not even if someone is a minority. What if that Syrian family are Christians? Or that white family are Pagans? Or that Japanese family are atheists?

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There must be a catch-all we can use? Oh, right. We have one: Happy Holidays.

This has been demonized by the pseudo-Christians (who also don’t realize that “X-Mas” isn’t insulting). They say that if you use that phrase, you are negating Baby Jesus. For them, the winter holidays are a zero-sum game: if you observe a different one, theirs is somehow nullified. What a ridiculous — and bizarrely insecure — notion that is. It in no way belittles nor degrades our own holiday to acknowledge others.

If you listen to the religious nutjobs on the right, there is a war on their holiday. What utter nonsense. We just happen to have a separation of Church and State in America. This means that nativity scenes — which are specifically Christian — cannot be displayed on public property. I’m sure that if one of those other holidays had an exclusive display on the Courthouse lawn, the pseudo-Christians would “get it” pretty quickly.

So, what do we do if greeted “wrongly?” This hand chart explains it:

Here's a handy, dandy chart to help you negotiate confusing holiday greetings.

Here’s a handy, dandy chart to help you negotiate confusing holiday greetings.

That pretty much does it. “Be a human.” If someone takes the time to wish you well, for the love of all that’s holy (or not), just say “Thanks,” and move on. If you are offended by someone being nice to you, the problem lies within you. And nothing anybody says will fix that.


Featured Image via Pixabay 

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