Scientists Conclude That Ted Cruz Knows Less About Climate Change Than A Kindergartner


With Donald Trump continuously making up crazy sh*t in order to bring back the Third Reich and Ben Carson imploding into one big hot mess, we sometimes forget about Ted Cruz, the original crazy Republican running for president. But a group of climate and biological scientists are here to let us know who holds the crown of bat sh*t crazy.

We all know climate change is the biggest existential threat facing America and the other countries we allow to be on our planet. Bernie was right to cite it as one of the greatest threats as well as a reason for more conflict in the Middle East, which was confirmed by the Pentagon.  But overwhelming science and visual evidence means very little when you’ve got all that Koch in your mouth. Ted Cruz is one of those major anti-climate change culprits.

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Recently a group of climate and biological scientists graded statements made about the environment by candidates. As you can imagine, most Republicans failed miserably. But no one performed worse than GOP candidate and Texas senator Ted Cruz, according to the Associated Press.

This individual understands less about science [and climate change] than the average kindergartener, wrote Michael Mann, a Pennsylvania State University meteorology professor. “That sort of ignorance would be dangerous in a doorman, let alone a president.

Related: Bernie Is Right: Researchers Link Syrian Conflict To A Drought Caused By Climate Change

The scientists referenced a series of phenomenally stupid statements made by Cruz on climate change.  In August, for example, Cruz said, If you look at satellite data for the last 18 years, there’s been zero warming. … The satellite says it ain’t happening.”

Um, wtf?! Was Cruz passing at anti-abortion pamphlets or something during 5th grade science class.

Florida State University’s James Elsner showed data that proves every decade has been warmer than the last since the mid-1900s, according to the AP.  Satellite data shows “continued warming over the past several decades,” and 2015 is set “to be the warmest year on record.”

I guess if it can’t be explained in 140 characters, Ted Cruz doesn’t get it.


Featured image by Gage Skidmore. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Flickr

michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on TwitterFacebook,   and ImpressionsGuy.com

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